Why I Fired Our Elf This Year

Changing Up Christmas this year and it started with firing our elf.

I know, I know… “You fired your elf? At Christmas?!”

But hear me out.

We’ve never been an Elf on the Shelf family. No mischievous flour fights, no midnight acrobatics, no elaborate setups with tiny props that magically appear each morning.

Instead—for years—we’ve had a Kindness Elf. (I read an article about this years ago click here to read and snagged an elf at Hobby Lobby to make it happen.)

Our little guy didn’t move around or stir up chaos. He simply sat on the mantle, watching the rhythms of our home. Every now and then he’d leave a note when he noticed kindness… or when he didn’t. Occasionally he brought small gifts or encouragement to nudge the kids toward thoughtfulness during the season.

And it was sweet. It was simple. But last year, my heart wasn’t fully in it (maybe because I was heavily pregnant?!).

And this year? God has been doing a deep work in me—reminding me that family is everything in this season of life. After the year we had… after the healing, the stretching, the refining… I wanted Christmas to reflect the things that matter most. Not more pressure. Not more clutter on my mental load. Not one more thing to remember every night.

I wanted December to be about presence—not performance.

So this year…I fired our elf. Lovingly. Gently. But officially. (In fact, he did leave a note telling our kids he had been selected for a special kindness mission and thanked them for all the Christmas memories.)

What We’re Doing Instead

I created a Family Advent Calendar filled with 25 family-focused activities designed to bring us closer together—not overwhelm us. Some nights are simple, while some require a little more intention. But every activity was chosen with our actual schedule in mind (because December is busy enough without adding 25 impossible tasks to the list).

This advent calendar isn’t about perfection, it isn’t about curated Christmas magic, and it isn't about receiving any honor or glory. It’s about slowing down, laughing more, making memories, and grounding our home in gratitude and togetherness.

CLICK HERE TO SEE OUR FAMILY CALENDAR IDEAS

IDEAS TO PURCHASE FOR FAMILY NIGHTS

Why This Matters To Me

This season can make us forget what actually brings joy. For us, firing the elf wasn’t about rejecting fun or tradition—it was about returning to what fills our home with peace.

This year, Christmas looks a little different. We're a family of five now with out youngest turning one on Christmas Day! So we're taking it a little slower, being a little more intentional, and spending a lot more time together.

If you’ve been feeling the pressure to “do it all,” consider this your permission slip to simplify. Maybe this is your year to fire the elf… or the expectations… and choose connection instead.

Because at the end of the day...family is everything. And that’s the kind of Christmas I want my kids to remember.